My name is Cindy Strotkamp and I am fat. I know this probably a shock to those of you who haven't seen me in person since 1994. Or 1998 when I had another "skinny" period. But it's true.
Facebook is one of the greatest and worst things to come about in recent history. I love keeping in touch with people and finding old friends. But there is the whole "picture" issue. People want to see how you look, what your kids look like, is there a spouse, do you travel? And to them I say, "Mind your own business!" Just kidding! I love looking through my friend's pictures as well. It's just that whole fear of being judged by people who have obviously done a much better job of taking care of themselves.
I am still working on this insecurity. You'll notice my profile picture is rarely a picture of myself. And if it is a picture of me it has been creatively cropped for maximum flattery. Most of the time I am able to convince myself that I am really not "that" overweight. Sure I wear size 18 pants and sure I like to take pictures with my hand over my neck so that no one can see my various chins. But I am just chubby.
One of my favorite stories about my weight is when I went to my doctor about 7 years ago to talk to her about trying a diet medication. She asked me what my goal was and this was my brilliant reply, "I find that about 135lbs is an easy weight for me to maintain." She just looked at me. If it was so "easy for me to maintain" then why hadn't I seen that weight since 1994?
So I needed to get real with myself. Having a heart attack scare was a good start, but I also had to look at other factors. Does my weight keep me from doing things I want to do? ABSOLUTELY! I didn't go to my high school reunion. I don't take pictures with my children. I don't like going to new places or trying new things for fear of how my weight might hold me back. It's a lonely existence. And I am completely fed up with it!
And it is because of this new resolve that I started making changes. I started drinking more water. Then I started making food changes. Some simple like eating greek yogurt and a banana for breakfast and other harder changes like no dessert in the evenings. Ouch! It hurts to write that even now. I was a die hard "sweets before bed" girl. Now if I am dieing for something sweet I have a bowl of cereal or a few Coffee Nipps. The Nipps are only 30 calories each they do a great job of curbing my sweet tooth.
I just started keeping track of my calories two weeks ago. I finally felt like I was ready to take that step. It's scary looking at the number of calories you take in each day. So I don't recommend starting with this or doing it at all. I know that goes against every diet plan on the planet but if you work hard at eating right and only eating when your truly hungry you shouldn't need to count calories. So why am I? It goes back to my "perception" problem. So when my weight lifting and eating right didn't produce weight loss then I began to wonder how many calories I was taking in daily. So the calorie counting isn't to hold myself to a strict rule, because I won't stick to rules. Ask my parents. It's just to make me aware of how many calories I take in each day so that I can make a better choice in order to lose weight. And it's working.
So make one change this week. And once that change is no longer a "change" and it becomes how you live, then make another. Do not make a bunch of rules for yourself. Just make a daily choice to make one change. If one day doesn't go so well don't give up. It's just one day.
I want everyone on earth to feel the way I did a few weeks ago. For whatever reason I have always wanted to be called a runner. I have wanted to strap on my tennis shoes and just take off with my iPhone singing in my ears and forget everything. The only problem being that I can't run. Or at least I thought I couldn't.
After weight lifting and strength training for eight weeks I thought I would try to run. A friend told me about an iPhone app that followed the Couch to 5K program. The first workout was 30 minutes long. Starting with a 5 minute warm up and then run for 1 minute and walk for 90 seconds. The first minute run I was pretty sure I was having an asthma attack. Of course I don't have asthma. But why else would I be wheezing so damn loud. But I kept going. The next run came and I did it. I thanked God out loud when I got to start walking again. And this kept going until my phone told me it was time for the cool down. I DID IT! I did the whole feakin' workout! I couldn't believe it. I called my friend Mandi Twist on the way home crying. It was AWESOME! My son Jake had ran the whole thing with me for encouragement. He later admitted he was worried I was going to pass out.
I hope I never stop having moments like that one. I had achieved something I thought I could NEVER do.
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